Coaching · Online or in person · Salt Lake City, Utah
Hi, I'm Xander.
Maybe you're not broken. Maybe you've just gotten really good at abandoning yourself.
You became whoever everyone else needed you to be. I'm interested in what happens when you stop.
Looking for bodywork instead? Breathwork, sound baths and Reiki in Salt Lake City
Maybe this is you
Maybe the life that used to fit doesn't any more.
Maybe you left a religion.
Maybe your marriage ended.
Maybe you lost someone you love.
Maybe you got the thing you were chasing, and it didn't answer the question.
You don't need someone to tell you who to become. You need space to hear yourself again.
There's more, if you want it →What I actually believe
What if the first step isn't getting rid of the shame?
Maybe you've spent years trying to beat it, outgrow it, affirm it away, pray it off. I want to suggest something less exhausting.
Judgment, then curiosity, then self-trust. That's the whole road.
The longer version →How the work moves
Notice. Unlearn. Choose.
Not a program. Three moves you cycle through for as long as you're alive. It just helps to know which one you're in.
One · Notice
What is actually happening?
What's going on inside you, before you edit it into something more acceptable.
Two · Unlearn
What did you inherit that isn't yours?
The shoulds, the shame, the rules nobody put to a vote. Most were installed before you were old enough to consent.
Three · Choose
What do you want now?
This is where it stops being processing and starts being your life.
Breathwork, sound baths and Reiki
Bookable one at a time, no commitment. Salt Lake City and the Wasatch Front.
Ready
Press start
Try it now
A regulated breath, before anything else.
A longer exhale than inhale tells your nervous system it is safe to come down. It works whether or not you believe in any of it.
Four seconds in. Hold for one. Six seconds out. Three rounds is enough.
About Xander
So… who am I?
Honestly, I'm still figuring that out.
I grew up Mormon. Mission, BYU, marriage, career, kid. Then I left the church, my dad died, my marriage ended, and underneath all of it was a question I had never learned to ask.
What do I actually want?
The long version →The short version: I'm Xander Ward, a wellness and mindset coach in Salt Lake City, Utah. I work with people through religious trauma, faith transitions, grief, divorce and identity change, online or in person. The first conversation is free.
On God, since you're wondering
A spiritual life, without abandoning yourself to get one.
I'm not spiritually neutral, and pretending otherwise would be its own small dishonesty. I have wrestled with God. With the church I grew up in, with plant medicine, with Buddhism, with long stretches of believing nothing at all. I'm still wrestling. I just stopped needing an institution to hand me the answer.
Where you land is genuinely yours. I have no stake in it.
Keep going →What people say after a session
Verified reviews from breathwork, sound and Reiki sessions at The Om State, rated 5.0 on Google. Those are for the bodywork, not the coaching; that practice is newer, and I'd rather show real ones than fill the space.
“Alex is so gifted!! I love the offerings he brings to the community. I worked with him in LA and he is genuine and knowledgeable. Highly recommend booking a private session with him!! He guides phenomenal journeys and his reiki is 🔥 if you’re considering being a part of anything he has to offer, the answer is DO IT …”Amber Bonham · Google reviewGoogle ↗
“Amazing wellness coach. His authenticity inspired me very much. Highly recommend Yoga, breathwork and soundbath him!”Minjung Shon · Google reviewGoogle ↗
“It was the first time I have done breath work and it will not be the last ❤️ Alex was amazing and I couldn’t have asked for a better first experience for myself! I HIGHLY recommend this amazing one of a kind Om.”Siomara Reyes · Google reviewGoogle ↗
“Alex is so incredibly gifted. His sound bath and breath work class was a beautiful experience- highly recommend.”Alex Mospanyuk · Google reviewGoogle ↗
Working together
Let's talk.
You don't need a reason good enough to justify the time. Bring the mess. Forty-five minutes, free, no intake form, no pitch. Video, or we walk a trail. If I'm not the right person, I'll say so and point you somewhere better.
A first conversation
Free · 45 min
A real session, not a sales call. You'll leave with something worth trying either way.
Book a conversationSingle session
Rate on request · 75 min
For a specific knot: a decision, a conversation you're dreading, an experience to make sense of.
Start with a conversationOngoing work
Rate on request · 8 or 12 sessions
Where the structural change happens. Conversation, breath and practice, in whatever mix actually serves you.
Start with a conversationBook the free conversation directly at calendar.app.google/ypncsS7JaYGmDHXw6, or email coachalexandersteven@gmail.com.
How the first months usually feel →Or write to me here.
No account, no newsletter, no funnel. It lands in my inbox and I write back, usually within a day or two.
In plain terms
What this is, and what it isn't.
People leaving high-control environments have usually been promised a lot. So here's the boundary, before you spend a dollar.
- Coaching is not therapy. If what you're carrying needs clinical care, I'll say so.
- Psychedelics: I'm trained in preparation and integration. What that means depends on where you are and what's permitted there, and I'll be specific with you directly. I don't source substances.
- No new belief system. Where you land is yours.
- You set the direction, and what you say stays between us.
I'm not sure I'm "deconstructing." Is this still for me?
Yes. Some people I work with still hold their faith and want to hold it more honestly. Others are working through religious trauma years after leaving, and others were never religious at all. You don't need the right label to be here.
Do I have to do the breathwork and body stuff?
No. Offered, never required. If you've been taught to override your body's signals, choosing when to say no is the practice.
What if my partner still believes?
Common, hard, and workable. The work is staying honest without turning your marriage into a debate. Whether you stay or leave isn't my call to make.
Do you work with people leaving the LDS church?
Yes. I grew up in it myself: mission, BYU, marriage, kid, then I left. So you won't have to translate the vocabulary or justify why leaving costs so much. I also work with people who are staying and want to stay more honestly. Where you land is genuinely yours.
Is this confidence coaching?
In practice, yes. I just think confidence is a byproduct. The real work is self-trust: learning to hear yourself again, then having the nerve to trust what you hear. Chase confidence directly and you get performance. Build self-trust and the confidence shows up on its own, and it holds.
I was searching for a religious trauma therapist. Are you one?
No, and I won't blur that line. I'm a coach. Therapy is clinical care from a licensed professional; coaching is the forward-looking work of deciding who you are now that the old map is gone. Some people do both at once, and that combination works well. If what you're carrying needs clinical care, I'll say so plainly and help you find one.
One question to start with
What happens when you stop trying to become who you think you're supposed to be, and start becoming who you actually are?
You don't have to keep fighting yourself. Come sit down. Let's work out what's actually true.